Originally posted on www.devynation.com (07/10/16)
I'm not sure how I am supposed to feel. But I can say that I've felt numb. Detachment has taken over because it hurts too much otherwise. I've been trying to pinch myself in hopes of waking up from the indifference. How do you fight when you can't feel?
Too many times we've been ambushed by headlines and social media movements. Another is dead they tell me. I spend every second of everyday building myself up, ready to face the world and show them we're kings and queens. But how am I supposed to be comfortable in my skin when I'm a target because of my skin?
Two hashtags, two dead bodies, two men inflicted with the curse of their skin color! Meanwhile, I am left with the responsibility to prove to the rest of the world that I am worthy. I am human. I bleed. I breath. I hurt. I am Black.
I stop and wonder if they realize their own strength. The power behind their cruelty? Kill our brothers, cousins, and fathers but leave us behind to continue to yell "BLACK LIVES MATTER!" My life matters. His life should've mattered but it didn't. Then I think about how they've emancipated us on paper but continue to rape our culture and lynch our human rights.
I find myself always referring to the one who set me free inside. Trayvon, they robbed you of life, they slaughtered you, they left you stretched out in the grass. You weren't the first. Nor were you the last. But you were a reminder of the one thing they'll never be able to take from us -- our voice. I don't know the solution. But I know Philando & Alton will not die in vain.
Rest In Power to Sterling, Castile and the many more that wont be publicized.
We LOVE you. We'll NEVER forget you.